So today is my 21st Birthday. I am 21
years old as of 12:48pm today. I am 21. Number of years old: 21.
This.
Is.
TERRIFYING!
Today is a day that I have eagerly
awaited and while anticipating it with dread. Why? I honestly have no idea.
21. Saying feels wrong, uncommon, and
incorrect. I cannot be 21. It’s the wrong number there must be some mistake. It’s
true; someone somewhere must have gotten the date wrong, I can’t be 21. there’s
no way I can be 21 because 21 is an age where you become a grown up, you learn
to live in a real world, with real world problems, and you live in a real
house, not student accommodation, or student digs, you're meant to be all these
things that I just don't know if I am or even can be.
Strong
Fierce
Independent
Mature
Did I strong already?
These are traits I can only have when
others are watching, on my own I'm scared useless and a little bit of pansy. Okay,
a lot of pansy.
21, not a chance. I’ve always been a
teenager with the sense and worldly knowledge of a little old biddy and that’s
how I like it. And it works for me, staying in, drinking tea, having my cats, I
like it. And it’s ironic until you reach a certain age, and for me that age is
21. I don't know why. But I've felt as if there is some big change, obviously
not physically but in terms of how I act and who I act. And I hate change. Seriously,
I hate it. I do little changes, like wearing make up a bit better, looking
after my mop of hair, and dressing nicely on a day to day basis.
Maybe I am changing now that I am 21. Maybe
it’s already happening and I knew nothing about it. I spent my first
hours of 21 the same way I wish to carry on, helping someone to feel a little
better just by talking things through with me. or anyone really but it is a
nice feeling when you help a friend/relative through something, just by sitting
on the other side of the screen, letting them throw their feelings and thoughts
through the internet to me and for me to just read listen and be there. I am
always there for those I care about, and I'm normally there for those who I
don't even know. I think that says something about me, I have no idea what mind
you.
21. Its growing on me. Still weird
though. Maybe I won’t get used to it until I'm 22. Now there’s an age I'm
looking forward too. It sounds fun! I think maybe there is just such a social
thing about 21 and that is what is freaking me out. there’s an expectation for
you to party and to drink and to be wild and adventurous then to be mature and
settled at the same time, mature and settled I can do have done forever!
So lets see what it will be like, come on then you cheeky age you! Let's rock this world!
Take care kittens
Claire
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